20.10.06

Today was I felt a mix of anger, loads of happiness and also a tinge of sadness. Anger is for this morning, sadness is also for this morning, knowing he'll never look at me ever again! And also the fact that sometimes even your best friend says you cant be bothered with her or be bothered about anything else. But I think mostly today was a happy happy day! Judy was recording our voices and stuff and Well, I didn't knw I sounded so... I don't know, misleading? Yeah, only Judy and Rucha will know hehheh. So today's night study was unproductive, I'm still not feeling the O level vibes. I know its coming in 12 days but I'm not doing anything much, ya know. Like you panic once in a while but not do anything about it. I don't know why, I'm stressed but not as stressed as when we had prelims. Not that I'm confident of doing well or anything cos Ms Tan just said this morning that if I were to take the Geog paper today I'll fail really bad. Fail 100%. And I woke up, cos I know my stuff but I haven't been practicing. I'm scared now but I don't really feel the pressure. O levels is THE big thing, the deciding factor for my future. I really need to study from today onwards. So this is how it's gonna go.

12 Days to the big day
12 days x (at least) 12 hours for 9 subjects.

Do the math and you'll realise that we have so little time!
Shit, I'm really scared now.

And after O levels are done, (which is exactly a month from today) I'm going to shop till I drop and party the whole day. And Duh, by that time most prolly I'll be gushing over smokey eyes man all over again and I might just stalk him like you guys said I did. Hah.

10:24 PM