17.4.07

Just a small smile would do

I thought today was going to be a great day because I saw Bubble first thing in the morning(: What a beautiful surprise. But I was wrong. The day started off with a boring PW lesson, followed by a very dull break. After that was Chem lecture and I stupidly fell asleep halfway while copying so I wrote rubbish. LT4 was like a mini North Pole cos I was freezing my buttocks off. Before maths lecture I went to the canteen to get my drink and then I saw the hottest guy alive:D He made my dull and boring day. Thanks love(: My cheeks were hurting from smiling after that. Yadah yadah, basically the day was boring. PPP meeting was bullshit cos some of them were just plain uninterested. Thanks to Zhafri for being my personal shrink, thank God you're the director.

Sometimes I just don't understand kenapa some people are just too uninterested in Malay-related activities. Some of them complain, kenapa masyarakat kita tak maju. Some are embarrassed by our masyarakat. How do these people expect changes to happen just by sitting around, complaining and doing nothing to change our society? Kalau ada activities yang dianjurkan oleh MCS tak ramai yang datang. It's quite disappointing to see our very own Malay students not supporting these events. I just don't understand. You're ashamed by your own race, but you won't do anything about it. So why don't you move your lazy asses and do something! Sheesh.

Today was a very thoughtful day. Once again, the topic of kiamat was raised in my mind. I'm scared. I don't wanna see kiamat. I haven't been a really good Muslim and I haven't been repenting. The thought of kiamat scares me crazy. Every Friday afternoon when the boys go for their Friday prayers, I'd be praying silently in my heart, hoping that it won't be my last day on earth.
And then came the thoughts of my studies. JC life is crazy. I don't even know if I can cope. Every morning I dread going to school, just thinking about the amount of work that I'll be doing later that day. I don't look forward to school anymore. There's nothing to look forward to anyway. The pace that they teachers are going is like being on a bullet train. I really suck at physics, but maybe that's because I'm asleep during the lectures most of the time. Maths and Chem requires me to revise regularly but I just can't bring myself to do it. Even Malay is driving me nuts. There's like a million assignments to do everyday. White box festival is another step to being admitted into the mental hospital. Darn, I really need to buck up.

I watched Mother Theresa yesterday. I wish I could be like her.

Sekiranya sang bayu menyentuh raut wajahmu, itulah rinduku yang sedang memanggil namamu

9:41 PM